Every time I die to myself I learn the power of life. Death is neither a life threatening experience nor life’s nemesis nor opposite. It’s a supreme gift. When I learn to die, I learn to exist. I expand the possibilities of my being. I experience the “small death” when I am in abstinence. When I choose to renounce. When I choose to have faith and remain still, without chasing pleasure and excitement. When I choose to be void. To be in absence. To fast. I learn my capacity of being beyond life. Every funeral is a celebration of my own essence, in which my soul can rejoice and restart, reset and yet continue. I am a non-linear presence. I am discontinuous yet evergreen. I can perish and still be alive: I can be fully active but choose to remain adamant; I can die but choose to still move forward. Faith, is the fuel for both. It’s the recognition of my own light, of my own nothingness and fullness – of my own space beyond time.
I learn. – Every occasion I am ready for the funeral-
I will find my will to be stronger, my Faith to be my foundation.
That all that is mine will be mine.
The essential only.
The excess solely creates anxiety in me, it forces me to carry something my energy doesn’t require. I don’t need everything.
Therefore I die. I die to sex, I die to food, I die to relationships, I die to life itself. To be more alive than I ever was.
In this process. What wasn’t for me
will be shaved away
and all that is mine will be mine.
At the end of all times I will be me.